Math or a fun day at a soccer game?
Easy pick, right?
The question: is the easy pick math? Or soccer?
Although my parents have taught me that it is extremely important to focus on academics, they've also taught me that it is also important to let your kids follow their dreams in the pursuit of whatever makes them happy. This weekend, we went to a party and this Indian lady was talking about her kids. She kept talking about how her kids do math team and debate team and how she believes that makes them so smart. When my mom was talking about my successes in Taekwondo and writing, she looked like she thought I was stupid. That made me so mad! I know multiple kids who do math team and stuff but they are actually rude jerks who aren't gonna do more then work in a pizza parlor. So according to that woman, even if your aren't a good person, but you do math team, you are successful. Ha well, clearly she respects idiots. (So what does that say about her...)
Whenever I talk to an Asian (especially Indian) parent, and they ask how school is going; the only question they seem interested in is : How are Math, Debate, Chess going?
Now, I'm just going to set the record straight: I DO NOT DO - Math team, Debate team, or Chess team. What I actually do participate in: School newspaper, Poetry club, creative writing, IT classes and things I actually enjoy.
Is that wrong? I don't think so. I always get "A's" in all subjects, so what else could my parents ask for? They don't force me to join Math team because they know that I have other talents inside of me. If I'm doing good in math, there's no need for me to waste the time I could instead utilize to let my talents thrive. They realize that I'm not a child that likes to be quiet and tied down in a room playing Chess or doing Math. They know that I am an athlete (who still puts education first). I know that GPA matters. In fact, my GPA is a 4.2 right now and the highest GPA possible in Alabama in 4.7
Try explaining this to other parents. When they ask me how Math team, etc. are going and I say "I don't do that", they look at me like I'm an idiot. They look at me as if I'm mentally less than their kids; like I'm not worth anything. WHY IS THIS?!!! What makes being a second degree black belt and holder of 3 World Championships gold medals but someone who's never had anything less than being in the Math team?!!!!!!
I'll even tell you what the kids themselves think: I have many friends who are Asian and they HATE Math team and not being able to do other things. They say their parents are forcing them to do something they never wanted to do in the first place. People always think that the reason Indians aren't state champions or world champions is because they aren't capable enough. THEY ARE!!! IF THERE PARENTS WOULD LET THEM!!!!
After school, I do: Taekwondo for an hour, I do community service, AND I keep up with homework and study for tests. But whoa hey, if I don't do math them, I'm stupid right?
That feeling I get when I win gold medal at the World Championships and I'm standing at the top of the podium and everyone is clapping and cheering for me.. That feeling- makes me feel like I can achieve anything. My parents have made it possible for me to feel that way and I'm so thankful. They've made me feel like I can move mountains which I would never feel if I was sitting in a room playing Chess.
I know some of you reading this are champions: such as my cousin who is rockstar on the guitar, my cousin who's dancing would render you speechless because she is so amazing, my friend who is a tennis champion, my brother who already has his path carved out for soccer at the age of 8. Do you think the feeling they get while doing these things can be achieved any other way? Nope.
Just because they do these things, it doesn't mean their grades aren't good. Their grades are AMAZING!!! So are the talents they possess. They would have never discovered them if their parents stuck them in a room for Debate team and never let them step into the beautiful and adventurous world outside. They are maintaining their GPA as well as rocking their school talent shows.
Why is Math the only thing that matters those parents anyway? You shouldn't force your kids to do what you were once forced to do yourself. Let them be who they want to be! Let them touch the sky instead of tying them to a rope to make sure they stay down here.
So why do I get those looks? Looks that make me feel like I'm not worth it? Why do some of you parents make me feel bad about myself? You make me feel like not being like your kid makes me lesser. If it were you child, you would feel aggravated at others but since it is someone else's child, it makes it okay for you to be a jerk? Wow.. great example for your kids, huh?
Not just this, you judge others based on their looks. If someone is too short, too tall, too thin, too fat: You have a problem with all of it.
When I stand on the mat and get ready to fight; people look at me and say she's too short, she's gonna lose. Those same people have nothing to say when I'm standing on the gold medal podium and their kids aren't. And guess what? They weren't the first people to say that and they won't be the last. However, with the things my parents have taught me and the confidence they show in me, they make it a whole lot easier to just push all the haters away. Because that's what they are: Haters who don't have a life so they want to make others miserable.
If I don't do math team, I don't do chess team, I'm not tall: According to some Indian parents- I'm a failure. Am I? Am I not capable of doing great things?
Ok... they can go ahead and judge me, they can judge hundreds of kids who will never do Math team and they aren't tall or whatever! They can call us all idiots and failures! One day: These failures will move mountains and their kids will just be sitting in a room doing Math.
So many kids leave college with a ton of degrees, but they have no character whatsoever. All they have ever known is academics. You think, that in the 21st century, you can live with no street smarts? Then, what's the difference between us and robots?
I'm so thankful to my parents that they have never made me do anything I have not wanted to do. Of course they have always told be to put education first, but they have also motivated me to be the best me I can be. I strive everyday to make them proud. I get good grades, I give them respect, I do extracurricular activities, and they never ask for more. That is how every parent should treat their children in my opinion. Can you disagree?
Now: I have a request for some of the parents out there. Let your kids live. Don't let them spend their entire lives with their nose in a book and nothing else that can make them feel like they lived a good life. Ask them if they want to learn how to play the piano or guitar, or drums. Or if they want to play basketball or soccer, or tennis. Let them uncover their talent instead of writing their destiny for them. Let them step outside the little box and see the world.
Most of all, don't treat kids who aren't like yours like they don't matter. It doesn't exactly boost our self-esteem...How about you grow up before asking anything out of other people's kids?
I am completely agree with you. live your dream.
ReplyDeletebut,being a parent I can say, Some times parents force their kids towards studies because they want their future to be secured and full of wealth. always remember all parents love their kids more than anything.